It’s an odd thing to be starting a new blog now, here at the tail end of 2012. I suppose some of that oddness is attributable to a kind of historical inertia. I first started using computers to communicate with other people in the 1980s, back in the days before everyone carried the Internets around in their pockets, when the idea of communicating with other people on the computer was seen as outlandish, esoteric, and potentially disturbed. I began my first online journal (or “blog,” as they came to be known) in 2001, shortly after the September 11th attacks, and blogged my way through the better part of the decade to follow. Sometime toward the end of 2008, I found that I was posting less and less, and saying less and less when I did. Finally, I realized I had stopped posting anything of value, apart from an occasional entry to check in with those few people who hadn’t made the jump to some other social media outlet. It wasn’t that I didn’t write, you understand. I just wasn’t posting. That was due in part to the realization that I had less and less I wanted to say, to fewer and fewer people, and in part to some personal situations in my life at the time, which caused me to feel increasingly uncomfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with The World At Large. Thus, silence.
I miss blogging, though. I miss the give and take, the impetus to attempt to write something worth reading, and the feedback from people reading it. I miss the sense that I’m part of a conversation, one that reaches far beyond the limited reaches of my eyes and ears, out into the aether and back to the Real World again, where we all live and work and play. And, finally, at long last, I’m beginning to feel that I have something worth saying, and I have the presumption to suppose that others might find what I have to say worth reading.
So, here I am, and here we are. Again.
Another part is that, well, it’s always a bit awkward to begin a new online journal or blog, isn’t it? After all, as an advertisment from my childhood put it, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Even with the nigh-infinitely editable nature of composition and communication on The Internet, human nature remains what it is. Ichi-go, ichi-e: one time, one meeting.
That being the case, setting expectations properly is important, so that if you’re reading this, you have an idea of what “this” is, of what you’re getting yourself into. The short version is that this is simply a personal blog about my life and the things I find interesting. At best, this will be a kind of mental scrapbook and multimedia journal of a life: images, ideas, places, moments, people, and an attempt at placing my thoughts about all of those things into some kind of context. The notion that I don’t know what I think until I write it down is hardly original to me, but I endorse the sentiment wholeheartedly. This is the method I use to explain myself to myself, to make some kind of sense out of what’s going on in my head and heart. And I need all the help I can get; my head and heart are messy, flawed, and chaotic. I’m no better than I should be, as they say, “less than the least of all saints.” As such, in reading this, you’ll see me making absolutely no sense on a regular basis and behaving in wildly contradictory ways. You might even get the impression that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing at any given moment.
You would be completely correct.
Nevertheless, here we are: you, whoever you are, wherever you are in the world and in your own personal journeys, and me, stumbling and traipsing along on my own journey, making a quiet spectacle of myself in semi-public for those who want to watch me chronicling my steps and my missteps, trying to work some things out—and not just any old things, mind you, but some very special and particular somethings. Along the way, you can safely expect a lot of frustration, humor, self-mockery, wonder, longing, anger, sorrow and joy.
Also, snark. Lots and lots of snark.
(And ponies, of course.)
So please, if you’re interested, and if you haven’t yet been scared away or bored by the rambling, TL;DR nature of all this, read on, and be welcome.